Is Your Boss the Hardest Part of Your Job?

I’ve been coaching a leader as she navigates a complex relationship with the executive she reports to. Often the biggest leadership challenges aren't about strategy or delivery — they’re about people. Especially the people we report to.

When the person you’re supposed to take direction from leaves you feeling undervalued, micromanaged, or undermined, it’s easy to feel stuck. So how do you deal with a difficult manager and stay motivated?

Here’s what I’ve seen helps:

1. Anchor yourself in your values. When someone else’s behaviour is unsettling, get clear on who you want to be as a leader. Let your values guide your responses, even when it’s tempting to mirror their behaviour. 

2. Set quiet boundaries. Not every boundary needs to be loudly declared. Sometimes it’s about managing your own reactions — for example, choosing not to take criticism personally, limiting how much emotional energy you give certain conversations, or clarifying expectations in writing. 

3. Find safe spaces outside this relationship. You might need to seek mentorship, coaching, or a peer sounding board. Processing the situation with someone objective can help you stay constructive rather than reactive. 

4. Stay strategic. Ask yourself: "What do I need from this role?" If it’s experience, a stepping stone, or time to build credibility, keep your eyes on that bigger goal. It will help you decide what’s worth fighting for — and what’s better to let go. 

5. Remember: their behaviour is not a reflection of your worth. This is a tough one. Often, a difficult manager’s actions say more about their insecurities or pressures than about your abilities.

6. Build support. Proactively build strong relationships with other executives and key stakeholders. Make sure others see and understand the value you’re adding to the business.A broader base of support can protect your reputation and make it harder for any one person’s negative narrative to define you.

If you're dealing with a difficult boss, know this: You’re not alone. And you are not powerless. Leading yourself well in these moments is not just survival — it’s growth.